3 Secrets to Diplomatic Behaviour

To be diplomatic means to evaluate a situation before speaking or acting and to take the best course of action without being overly brash or bold. One needs the ability to interpret their surroundings and respond in a subtle, calculated and controlled fashion. Some say that “Diplomacy is saying the nastiest things in the nicest way.” While diplomacy can be difficult in certain situations, especially in those that personally affect you or that involve something you feel strongly about, a few basic tips and reminders can make it easy to behave diplomatically in everyday life situations.


Secret 1 of Diplomatic Behaviour: Think before you act

Even if you’re angry or feeling offended, take a second to breathe and think things through before you say or do anything. Taking a few deep breaths, counting to ten before you respond can make all the difference. As difficult as it may seem, taking that extra time to evaluate your thoughts before responding will keep you from over reacting and possibly saying or doing something you may later regret.

This important technique is vitally important to maintaining a public perception of cool, calm and collected. Take Trump for example, unfortunately he is responding emotionally to every situation and as a result is affecting his reputation and people’s perception of him. So avoid voicing your opinion on every unruly situation that may creep up in public.


Secret 2 of Diplomatic Behaviour: Rapport building

One of the many ways that the diplomatic person builds rapport with others is through the physiological process of mirroring and matching. Matching and mirroring is the skill of assuming someone else’s style of behavior to build a bond between you and that person much quicker. You see, people like people who are like them, so when spending time with new people, show them how similar you can be.

It’s about being in tune with the other person, by using your observations about the other’s behavior and essentially mimicking them.

Here are the three things you need to do, to match and mirror your counterpart:

  1. Body posture and gestures
  2. Match the tone and energy of your voice to theirs.
  3. Through your words, speech and common experiences


Secret 3 to Diplomatic Behaviour: Control your Posture.

Use neutral and open body language to get your point across diplomatically. Look other people squarely in the eye when speaking. Relax any parts of your body that can become tense during opinionated discussions, like your hands, shoulders and brows.

Using your hands to gesture while speaking is advised, however avoid waving your hands wildly when you speak as this can be viewed as nervousness, uncertainty or even aggression. Don’t forget to smile as much as possible, as smiling is one most charming attribute we all have.

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